Balancing Shame and Innocence

A child given the good enough start will trust.  The bundle of baby birthed into primeval fear should, in a good enough home, be comforted and come to trust through the giving of love.  Love protects from the harsh reality of the world; it creates the safe environment within which innocence thrives free from the constraints of fear.

At some point in very early life other messages will be given: very necessary messages, that introduce a reality check through the communication of fear for the child in terms of danger; in terms of mediating relationships a degree of shame is introduced usually because the initial child’s world consists of one thing and person: the child.

Considering others requires the regulation of the parent which may induce shame and guilt.  In reasonable measure these however are brakes upon which future relationships are predicated together with the confidence and self-valuing that the initial and on-going love engenders.

Perhaps it is simply that the world is not a trustworthy place; ideally the world might simply be a place where we could trust everyone to be at least as concerned about others as they are for themselves.

For more information on this and other subjects please visit my web site https://www.cheltenhamcounsellor.co.uk.